


Pack of Nine Inches

by ghettoassenglishman



Series: Take my hand--Take My Whole life too [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Humor, Multi, Sammi finally realizes, Season 5 setting, Slight fluff, i need this to happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 14:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3414125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghettoassenglishman/pseuds/ghettoassenglishman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sammi didn't realise that Ian, her brother, was the Batshit-crazy, redhead with nine inches tucked into his pants.</p><p> </p><p>(the one where Sammi finds out who Mickey was blurting about in the bar)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pack of Nine Inches

“Hurry the fuck up, my balls are going to drop off any fucking minute.” Mickey moaned as Ian took slow steps up to the house that they had been staying at more frequently.

 

“You do realise you say fuck more _just_ because we can't say it at home, right?” Ian rose his eyebrow, stubbing out his cigarette that they had been passing back and forth. They didn't curse back home, for Yev's sake, Ian had insisted the baby should be around a non-swearing environment so they could make him Southsides first ever kid to know have their first word being "fuck" or "Dick." 

 

Mickey groaned from behind him – all he wanted was to fucking sleep, have a warm bed entwined within the strong hold of his boyfriends arms. “Fuck off!” he flapped his hands up in the air, exaggerating the fact that his boyfriend was the most annoying he would never get rid of. 

 

Ian fumbled with the door handle, expecting for it to just swing open, but his smile instantly dropped. “It's fucking locked.” he pulled at the doorknob a couple more times before turning around exhausted and by far frustrated. Patting his pockets it seems more things would be going wrong for them tonight. 

 

“Why the fuck is it locked?!” Mickey frustratedly shouted, he looked up to the sky hoping it would magically give them a key and open the door for them. All he had was a Gallagher searching under pebbles, mumbling to himself about finding a key that _obviously_ didn't exist. “Since when did anyone ever lock their doors here? It's only half ten, who the fuck locks their door at ten!?” 

 

Ian chuckled to himself, enjoying the fact Mickey always got flustered when things got in his way. The door for one, Ian was surprised it was still on its hinges. “Carl probably pissed someone off again, but I'd thought they would tell me before they put the house on lockdown.” 

 

The redhead looked up to his old bedroom window, a light was visible. “CARL? Open the fucking door!” His voice bounced down the street, but still nothing. Mickey was getting too frustrated and tired for this shit. 

 

“I SWEAR TO FUCK IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR I'M GOING TO STUFF THEM CRUTCHES DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!” it even surprised Mickey, himself, the fact of how loud he could shout. Except, his own throat was starting to burn now. 

 

Ian's eyes glared towards the other boy, mouth open wide. “Jesus Christ, Mick.” 

 

Abruptly, the front door swung before them. Stood behind its opening was Sammi, her hair stuck all over the place, shirt stained with some sort of food and her hands frantically rubbing against her eyes. “What?!” She noticed Ian barging through, with the gay brunette she tried to hit a couple of days back. “Ian, I thought I said you have to take your hook ups to  _their_ house.” 

 

Ian scoffed to himself, eyes narrowing as he and Mickey exchanged glances. “You never said that.” He caught Sammi eyeing up Mickey, suspiciously. “And he's not my hook up.” As she turned her back to grab a glass of water, he placed his hand on the small of Mickey's back, unnoticed. 

 

“Oh, so you guys are just friends then?” She frowned intensely, Ian did know that the kinky brunette thug was gay, right? Gulping down her water, she placed the glass down too loudly. 

 

Shit, she had said that out loud hadn't she because Ian's answered confirmed.“Erm, well obviously.” Ian gestured his hand between him and Mickey, consciously confused. Mickey didn't seem effected, except his eyes looked as if they were trying to work something out. 

 

“Why the fuck wouldn't he know I'm not gay? Anyway, I told you at the bar I wasn't into muff so stop trying so fucking hard.” Mickey shrugged off, ripping his coat from his arms and kicking his boots off that were basically stuck to his feet. 

Sammi was watching him again,  _why was he taking his shoes off?_ Ian watched the little interaction, confused at how the two of them both knew eachother and yet she didn't know that they were together. 

 

“Wait, you two know eachother?” Ian asked, taking his own coat off.

 

“She tried to get into my pants, I told her straight though. Well, not exactly _straight.”_ Mickey winked, walking over to the kitchen and opening the fridge. He pulled out the butter and a piece of bread, spreading it over he plunged it into his mouth. Sammi was still watching, her eyes glancing back and forth from Ian to Mickey. 

 

“So you're fucking?” She asked, knowing the two guys were both gay and both highly attractive. Shit, could she say that about her own sort-of sibling?

 

Ian burst out into laughter, “Well, Mickey isn't the sort of person to hold out his chastity. Jesus, Christ.” He followed over to Mickey, all of them stuck within the small kitchen, he reached over and nabbed the remaining piece left of Mickey's food and wiggled his eyebrows. 

 

That's when it clicked. Sammi had been so god-damn stupid.  _Redhead._ Well, it wasn't like Ian didn't have redhead. He had the redist hair in fucking southside.  _Batshit crazy._ Ian did have a lot of problems, and he had to go to that hospital, so.  _Pack of nine inches._ She bent where she was stood, working out if she could make nine inches out just from looking at his jeans. 

 

“Why the fuck is she here anyway?” Mickey questioned, his hand slowly reaching behind Ian and grabbing onto his ass. Sammi stood up, her eyes widening with realisation. 

 

“She's sort of my sister, Frank gets around a lot, more than we fucking like.” Ian mumbled, he too watching Sammi as she gave them both, what looked like, an examination with her eyes. 

 

Mickey grinned towards his lover. “I think we've fucking established that.” 

 

“OH MY GOD, YOU- IAN?” Sammi suddenly shouted in their faces, eyes still wide. “IAN'S THE BATSHIT CRAZY REDHEAD?!” She laughed to herself, as the two boys watched her intensely with confusion. Except Mickey of course, but he wasn't going to scream out that he had said that because it was predictable Ian would turn it mushy. 

 

“YOU PACK NINE INCHES?” Sammi, jabbed Ian in the chest playfully. “I mean, I know they say gingers have really big dicks but seriously? My brother is giving it to the local thug. Gosh, this is so fucking mind blowing.” 

 

Ian bit the inside of his lip, turning to Mickey with a giggle. "Nine inches huh?” Shit, If they face didn't turn Mickey on in a second then nothing would.

 

“What?” Mickey surrendered defensively. “I ain't going to fucking lie am I.” Ian stood smug, his boyfriend knew his exact size _and_ was fucking proud of it. 

 

Sammi was still smiling, she was fucking weird. “God, you guys want some eggs? I can batch them up in like five minutes. Seriously guys I would of never guessed." She pulled out a ray of eggs. "If I had nine inches going up me I'd need my energy." Ian spat out into a laugh, _Jesus Christ._

 

“Nah, we're fucking tired.” Mickey rolled the words of his tongues, pushing Ian towards the stairs because she was getting even more fucking weird by the second. “Fucking Gallaghers.” 

 

“Wait, why the hell was the door locked by the way?” Ian stalled on purpose, knowing that it was still making Mickey feel uncomfortable. 

 

Sammi placed her hands on her hips, paternally. “Curfew. Doors lock at ten, I told everyone that this place needs to be sorted. Things are changing around here.” She chucked some laundry into a nearby basket, the stove sizzling as she placed a pan above it.

 

“Fucking clearly. You didn't think of telling us?” Mickey barked from the stairs, his body pulling him like a magnet to the bed that had been awaiting them for some time now. Ian stood still, his grin clear from where he was stood behind him. 

 

“Shut up. You didn't tell me you were fucking my brother?” 

 

Both ignoring her before the conversation got any worse they made their way up the cluttered steps of the stairs. Before they reached the top they heard her shout up, from the bottom. A wooden spoon in her hand. “Don't go to rough tonight boys, us hetro's have gotta sleep!” 

 

Nothing was more fucking awkward, but Mickey was making sure that they were just going to fucking cuddle – he was not risking Ian's sort-of sister barging through asking them if they wanted lube or fucking condoms. Just no.


End file.
